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Anger is a common human emotion, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a victim of this negative emotion. You can learn how to deal with pent up anger.
As adults, we have an obligation to society and ourselves to avoid allowing our emotions from getting the best of us.
There are many responses you can choose when faced with a situation that makes your blood boil. A responsible person finds a way to cool their anger and find peace.
Top Strategies to Manage your Pent-Up Anger and Frustration
- Consider the negative consequences of anger. It’s tempting to run with your anger in the short-term but giving in to anger outbursts can cause even more challenges. Before lashing out or taking what you consider to be appropriate steps, think about how things will be when the dust settles.
- Give yourself a timeout. Timeouts aren’t just for little kids. Adults need timeouts, too. Give yourself a few minutes to allow a level of reason to return to your brain. You’ll be in a better position to make appropriate decisions.
- Let others be wrong. You don’t have to prove that someone is wrong. Just let them be wrong. If you have a strong desire to prove to them that they’re wrong, that’s just your ego barking.
- Decide if happiness or being right is more important. Many arguments are the result of wanting to be right. If you choose happiness over winning every argument, you can enjoy your life much more. Which is more important to you?
- Take a minute to notice your anger. Instead of mindlessly reacting to your anger, take a moment to examine it. Pretend you’re a third-party witnessing your anger. What does it feel like to you? Is the feeling in your stomach, chest, or head? Is your heart beating faster? Are your hands shaking?
By disengaging from your anger, you can gain a different perspective and de-energize your emotions.
6. Ask yourself why you’re upset. Did someone physically harm you? Did they let you down? Violate one of your values? Figure out why you’re upset, and you’ll be halfway to finding a solution.
7. Focus on the big picture. Imagine that you knew the world would come to an end next Friday. Would you really be upset if someone stole your parking space? Of course not.
8. Look for solutions, rather than making yourself feel better. Acting in anger is about making yourself feel better. Rather than seeking to even the score, work on finding a solution. The outcome is much better.
9. Be sure you understand the situation. Why get angry before you know the facts? Ensure the issue isn’t actually a miscommunication.
10. Learn relaxation techniques. The calmer and more relaxed you are on a regular basis, the less likely you are to become angry. Relaxation techniques can also be helpful after the fact. Learn how to relax yourself. It’s a skill that can be learned.
11. See your anger as a practice opportunity to find peace. Each time you feel upset, view the situation as a chance to practice your anger-management skills. It’s a blessing in disguise. Commit yourself to handling this bout of anger better than you did the last time.
Avoid letting anger get the best of you. As a thoughtful human being, you have options available to you. Seek to find solutions and peace rather than giving in to your immediate impulses. Learn how to deal with pent up anger and make the smart choice!
Learn to Temper Pent-Up Anger with Forgiveness
Try this reflection.
Daily interactions with others have the ability to put my mind in a state of unrest. There are times when I get angry, but I always remember to forgive.
My co-workers are sometimes challenging to deal with. When someone is being insubordinate to me, I avoid being consumed by anger. I find that it is more productive to forgive and move on.
When I take the road of forgiveness, I am able to think with a clear mind. The optimum course of action in each scenario becomes apparent to me.
Making the decision to forgive also prevents me from overreacting. Putting my feelings aside allows me to be fair. I know that both parties benefit when I decide to be mature and take the high road.
Although I am ready to forgive, I ensure that I highlight the lesson in the situation. It is important for others to know how their actions affect me.
I also take the time to let people know what behavior I refuse to tolerate. Doing this allows for a level of understanding and more productive interactions going forward. Forgiveness is more valuable when it makes relationships stronger.
I follow the same approach when I get angry at myself. I treat myself gently but ensure that I know which direction to take the next time around.
Today, anger has very little control over me because I focus on forgiving. My mind and heart are open to making things right so future interactions are positive.
Self-Reflection Questions for You To Answer
- How do I respond when my willingness to forgive is used against me?
- How do I keep my pent-up anger in check?
- What other positive behaviors do I display on a regular basis?
Use These Strategies to Deal with Pent Up Anger and Regain Peace
Do you get upset when someone treats you poorly? Feelings of anger are normal and even appropriate at times. However, it’s important to learn how to deal with pent up anger effectively. Uncontrolled anger can create additional burdens on your relationships and in your life.
If your anger is getting the best of you, investigate a few alternatives to help keep it under control. Try these techniques to deal with pent up anger in a positive manner.
- Begin to deal with anger when you first notice it. It’s much easier to control any emotion at the onset. As you become more stimulated, it’s more challenging to think clearly and rationally. Notice when you’re starting to become upset and you can stop anger in its tracks.
- Count to 10 and breathe. Giving yourself a moment to gather your thoughts can help to defuse the situation. Take the time you need. There’s nothing wrong with taking a short timeout. Breathe out stress, breathe in peace!
- Avoid saying anything while in an angry state. Speaking while in a negative mental state can create further challenges. Remember all the times you wish you’d kept quiet instead of lashing out. Think before speaking and you’ll save yourself a lot of apologizing later.
- Focus on solutions. Whatever we focus on tends to expand. Directing your focus to finding an answer to the issue increases the odds of a positive resolution.
- Distract yourself. The might be seen as avoiding the situation, but focusing on something else for a while can overcome anger enough to permit seeing things more clearly. Choose to think about something that makes you happy.
When your emotions are settled, you can return to the situation with a renewed ability to gain peace.
- Put a smile on your face. Emotions follow action. Smiling is your choice. If you smile, you’ll feel better and be in a more useful mental state for finding a solution.
- Seek to understand those who have angered you. If you understand the reasons the other person angered you in the first place, you might find it was just a simple misunderstanding. It’s also possible you made a mistake and can then rectify it.
Be certain you have a valid reason for your anger. You might find there’s no reason to be angry at all.
- Apply logic to the situation. Consider the likely outcome of being angry. Is it really going to help you? Is the situation likely to improve or get even worse? Seeing the negative outcome of continuing with your anger might be enough to put a stop to it.
- Make peace the priority. As the saying goes, “You can be right or you can be happy.” A feeling of calmness and composure trumps anger every time. Value your peace of mind more than you value your ego or holding on to negative feelings.
- Consider the impact on your relationship. When we say or do things in anger, it’s not always possible to take them back because the damage has already been done. Your relationship is more important to you than the issue causing the anger.
With your spouse, child, significant other, close friend, or other loved one, keep the fact that you love them at the forefront of your mind, even in a disagreement. It will help you think more clearly about the issue.
It’s important to maintain positive relationships with your boss and coworkers. Consider the consequences that your anger could have on your job.
Take Steps To Control Anger – Don’t Let it Control You!
Anger is a normal emotion, yet has the power to be very destructive. There are many ways to deal with stress and anger effectively and peacefully. Focus on understanding and finding solutions to upsetting situations.