stress anger management tips

How to Deal with Stress and Anger: 5 Fail Proof Techniques

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Do you know how to deal with stress and anger?

There is a saying that goes, “Anger is one letter short of danger.”

This is very true.

Anger really stresses me out when I do not manage it effectively.

There are many people who bottle up their anger.

That’s the WRONG thing to do.


Because it brews inside them like a toxic fume which poisons their mind and body.

My anger is usually caused by a situation that I consider unfair.

But there are other triggers too.

Like when someone says or does something that offends me.

When I stress out over such slights and unfair treatment, I tend to replay the same scenario in my head.

Over and over and over!  With what result?

I experience the same negative emotions.

Can you relate?

Over time, this takes a toll on your mental and emotional well-being.

You’ll view life in a negative way.

You’ll develop negative attitudes to cope with the world as you see it.

I am so glad I learned how to break the cycle!

While some people may get explosive when angry.

They  shout and rant as an outlet to vent their frustrations.

But that is not really an effective approach.

In fact, if such outbursts become a habit, it can really affect you in many detrimental ways.

I take 5 steps when I get angry.

These 5 effective ways to cope with anger REALLY work for me.

How to Deal with Stress and Anger Step #1 – Breathe deeply

Deep breathing has a very calming effect on the body.

I count slowly to 8 as I breath in and count to 8 as I breathe out.

When you’re angry, the body breathes more rapidly but in a shallow to deal with stress and anger

This deprives your body of oxygen which further exacerbates the situation.

By taking deep breaths, you’ll get two benefits.

  1. You’ll be calming your overactive brain down and
  2. You’ll also be giving yourself some time to think

This way, you won’t react hastily in a way that might be embarrassing or unnecessary.

How to Deal with Stress and Anger Step #2 – Step Back

This is NOT easy to do, but it’s a very important step.

It took me some time to develop enough self control to master this technique.

You must take a step back from your anger and view it from the perspective of a third party.

If someone said something mean about you, the natural human response is to get defensive or angry.

Take a step back and ask yourself why you’re stressing yourself out over this.

Do you secretly believe that what the other person said about you is true.

Very often, people feel insulted by comments from others because they believe them to be true on a subconscious level.

If it’s not true, why would the other person put you down?

Are they normally unhappy people who take pleasure in tearing others down?

By reflecting on this, you will be thinking instead of reacting.

You’ll realize that in most cases, there’s nothing much to be upset about.

You can just dismiss these comments and move on with life without being stressed or aggravated.

Analyze the situation.

Analyze the person or people involved.

Take time to analyze the reasons they behave the way they do.

See if you can figure out why… and when you do, you’ll be able to act in a level-headed manner.

How to Deal with Stress and Anger Step #3 – Smile or Sing Your Favorite Song

It may seem crazy to smile even if you’re furious.

However, the mere act of smiling will help to relieve some of the tension you’re feeling.

Your body is trained to be happy when you smile. So, the act of smiling will calm you down and de-stress you.

I also hum or sing a favorite song when I feel my blood starting to boil.

The act of humming my favorite song refocuses my mind on something I find pleasant and enjoyable.

That also relieves some of the irritation of may be feeling.

How to Deal with Stress and Anger Step #4 – Write it down…Journaling with a Twist

Did you know that Abraham Lincoln used to write long letters to people who caused him grief?


how to manage stress and angerHe NEVER sent any of those angry letters.

He burned them after writing them.

The writing process was cathartic since it helped him express his anger, bitterness, disappointment and other negative emotions.

When you are angry, write down how you feel!

Say whatever you want.

After writing it all, either burn the paper or throw it away.

Or you could type it all out and delete the document when you’re done.

The goal is to express yourself instead of keeping it all inside and getting stressed out.

How to Deal with Stress and Anger Step #5 – Realize your own mortality

This is a big one.

People often forget that they’re mortal and that death is the great equalizer.

The average person lives about 28,000 days.

That doesn’t seem like a lot, does it?

No, it doesn’t… and it’s not.

Yet, we go around being angry and upset like we’re immortal.

Holding on to anger and resentment for days, and for some even weeks, months, and years!

Does any of this sound familiar??

I USED to do hold on to anger and resentment for months and years!

Until I realized that I was KILLING myself!

My new approach is to express it ( write  it in my journal as Abraham Lincoln did), burn it, get over it, and move on.

That’s the secret to coping with anger and stress effectively.

Cast your anger aside.

Don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s mostly small stuff anyway.

Be happy for what you have and if anyone aggravates you, let it go.

Don’t use up your precious days ( or weeks, or months) sweating over nasty comments, unfair treatment and irrelevant negativity.

You know better.

Write it down to express your feelings, burn it, and let it go!

“Be happy and a reason will come along.” – Robert Brault.

Could these Anger Stress Management Techniques Work For You?

I would LOVE to hear from you? Which one ( or more) of these stress anger management tips would work for you?

Use the comment box below to share your thoughts and comments!


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  1. Great tips. I also think this can apply to children as well…tweens to teach them to deal with their anger, too.

  2. Darlene Berkel says:

    @patti, glad you liked that one. Considering how unpredictable life can be, its best to not spend too much time being angry and holding on to resentment.

    @leigh, Yes! These tips can work for everyone, young and old alike. The sooner we teach children how to manage stress and anger, the more balanced citizens they will grow up to be.

    Thanks for stopping by ladies. 🙂

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