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How to Get Along With In-Laws During Holiday Season

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Who else wants to know how to get along with in-laws when they visit?

There are plenty of jokes about in-laws and, unfortunately, some of them are based on the truth.

The holidays are one of the most common times when you’ll need to try to be pleasant and cordial.

The good news is that you can get through a holiday visit from the in-laws without feeling overwhelmed or overloaded with stress.

One of the best ways to figure out how to get along with in-laws is to look for common ground. Surely you have something you agree with them on.

You should also seek out some peace and quiet for yourselfhow to get along with in laws

Even if you have to stay up a bit later or get up a few minutes earlier, set aside time to center yourself, focus on the good things in your life, and prepare yourself for what comes next.

Remember That The Holidays are Temporary

As you approach the holidays and while you’re in-laws are visiting, remember:

• The year is long and the holidays are short.
• Your partner loves these people and wants to see them.
• You can agree to disagree without being rude or antagonistic.
• Let things go. What does it matter what they think?
• You still have time to get away occasionally to experience peace and quiet.
• Judgment reflects badly on you, but acceptance paves the way to a smooth holiday.
• Your house will soon be yours again, and you will have at least one good memory.

How to Get Along with In-Laws? Find Ways to Keep the Peace

Consider these strategies to keep the holidays in your heart and your in-laws’ visit from ruining them:

1. Change your point of view. Try to see your in-laws’ visit from the perspective of your partner. These are his parents. If your partner doesn’t see them all year, he may miss them lot. Let peace reign, no matter how you feel toward them. Your spouse will appreciate your consideration, and your holiday will be more memorable.

2. Suggest things your spouse can do with the parents. That gives them plenty of time to enjoy one another’s company and allows you to go off and do something you would prefer to do. That way, you limit your time with your in-laws without seeming rude. Be considerate and it will help you stay happy and peaceful throughout the holidays.

3. When you do spend time with your in-laws, really listen to what they have to say. You may learn something about them that makes you appreciate them more or that changes your perception of them. The holiday will be what you make of it, so take the time to make it a good one for everyone.

During the holidays, lives are hectic. Visits with in-laws are simply one part of the equation.

The time with them can contribute to the positive experiences of the holiday season if you approach it with a positive spirit and a sense of compassion for everyone involved.

You can get through the in-laws’ holiday visit with a smile and maybe even look forward to their next visit.

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  1. Good advice! I’m so happy that now that I’m an in-law, I have a great relationship with my daughter’s husband. I used my relationship with my in-laws as a learning experience to make me a better MIL to my SIL! At Thanksgiving, he said, “in-laws are a crap shoot, and I’m so grateful I won the jackpot! It was one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten! My husband and I were thrilled. We like our SIL a lot.

    1. Darlene Berkel says:

      Aweeeeee…so sweet that your SIL realizes that he won the jackpot when it comes to having you as a MIL Sharon! How wonderful! So what’s your #1 tip for getting along with your inlaws ( or for being a great MIL) Shari?

      1. Treating them like their just as important as your own kids and making them feel welcome in the family. Include them in everything with the rest of you (unless it’s something like “the women are going to lunch”). We each have our own family culture, and it is so easy to feel left out of the new family otherwise.

        1. Darlene Berkel says:

          Great tips Shari. Making them feel appreciated is really important too. Noone likes to feel as if they are being taken for granted. That only leads to hurt feelings and tension.

  2. Muneerah Tanya Shiraz says:

    Thank you for putting a positive spin on it, not all in-laws are unbearable. Mine actually live with me and they are very nice people.

    1. Darlene Berkel says:

      Muneerah Tanya, that’s so true. That’s exactly the point I wanted to make…so often you see in-laws being portrayed as these meddling folks who cause problems in their adult children’s marriages. It does not always have to be that way! Thanks for sharing your positive experience with your in-laws. Nice! 🙂

  3. Alas, both my parent-in-laws are gone, but could’ve used this back in the day!

    1. Darlene Berkel says:

      Same here Laurie, my former in-laws are gone, but I wish I knew then what I know now! Thanks for sharing.

  4. This is definitely one of the most challenging aspects of the holidays for my family. This article is full of great advice! Let’s see how good I am at following your suggestions…

    1. Darlene Berkel says:

      So true Annette…getting good advice is one thing, following it and applying it is another. Just try ONE thing and see how it goes. Building string relationships does not happen overnight, rebuilding strained relationships does not happen overnight. Small, consistent acts are much more effective and sustainable. And success breeds more success! So start small, and aim for consistency! Let me know how it goes…I am here for you if you need an accountability partner! 🙂

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