Negative Thinking And Negative Self Talk Ruin Confidence and Self Esteem

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Day 14: Transform Stress into Courage and Confidence

Negative thinking and negative self talk is one of the biggest threats to anyone trying to build confidence and fight stress.

In yesterday’s post I talked about why I won’t help low self confidence women who prefer to wallow in self pity.

We talked about hearing that little voice in your head that tells you that you don’t need to do this, or can’t do this anyway so why even try.

These are examples of negative thinking and negative self talk.

Why Negative Thinking and Negative Self Talk Happens

It’s not uncommon to have quite a bit of this negative thinking and negative self talk going as you work on building confidence

It’s an internal protection mechanism of sorts.


Battling stressors and lacking confidence to cope with difficult challenges is mentally exhausting. Often, we aren’t actually sure that we can do what we set out to do.

Our mind then tries to protect us by talking us out of giving it a try. After all, if you don’t try, you can’t fail, right?

At least that’s how our confidence lacking subconscious mind thinks.negative thinking and negative self talk

On a rational level, we know that never trying is just as bad as or even worse than trying and failing.

When we try and fail, we always learn something.

Taking (calculated) risks is part of a happy, productive life and it’s what build courage and confidence.

Now you know why you think these negative thoughts.

Now you know why you try to talk yourself out of the things you actually want to do.

So, let’s go over some strategies for silencing these voices.

Before we do that, I want to tell you something VERY important.

As your courage and self-confidence starts to increase, those voices will start to fade away on their own.

In other words, this isn’t something you’re going to have to battle or work on throughout your life.

Sure, negative thinking and negative self-talk will pop up here and there, but overall it won’t be a struggle in the long run.

Ways To Overcome Negative Thoughts

The first step is to simply acknowledge that it’s there and that it isn’t something that’s helpful or productive.

I want you to realize that often  it’s ok to simply ignore that little voice in the back of your head.


When it’s warning you of failure and trying to talk you into not even trying.

Don’t get me wrong.

There are times when that same voice serves a good purpose.

For instance, if it talks you out of jumping from a bridge.

But it doesn’t benefit you when it tries to talk you out of going for a energy boosting walk in the morning.

Another good strategy is to prepare counter arguments.

You know the voice in your head isn’t completely rational and helpful.

Focus instead on everything you have to gain from doing it anyway, or look at all the times you’ve succeeded in the past.

The most important lesson I want you to take away from today’s post is this.

Negative thinking and negative self talk will happen.  

So be on guard and know that it’s something you need to look out for.

Once you know what it is, it’s much easier to dismiss it and get to work.

5 Minute Mini-Challenge:  Ways to Overcome Negative Thinking

I want to help you to start reducing negative thinking and negative self talk right now!

The exercises below will not totally eliminate negative thinking. BUT… but they will help you pick holes in your negative thinking.

I want you to take  the first crucial step in challenging your negative thinking.

Use the comment box below to write your answers these 2 questions:

  1. What negative thoughts are you struggling with right now and what is the worst that could happen?
  2. How would you cope with the worst case scenario?


Ready for step two? Invest in this book.

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