why do I get stressed out

Why Do I get Stressed Out So Easily?

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I used to ask myself why do I get stressed out so easily? And then I discovered the answer!

The English scholar, Robert Burton once said, “A quiet mind cureth all.”

While this may not hold true for some exceptional circumstances, when it comes to managing stress in my life, I discovered that quieting my mind is absolutely necessary.

One of the reasons busy women like me (and YOU) get stressed out is because we let our thoughts run amok.

Instead of controlling our thoughts, we let our thoughts control us.


Since our thoughts affect our emotions, when one runs loose, the other is bound to be adversely affected too.

You can’t live a positive, stress-resilient life with a negative mind.

So… Why Do I Get Stressed Out so Easily?!

I used to get stress easily because my mind was constantly racing with negative and distressful thoughts!

If your mind is constantly racing with negative and distressful thoughts, it’s inevitable to get stressed out.

Your brain has too many tabs open and you have no idea where to even begin.

After many years of trial and error, I’ve discovered 5 ways to quiet my mind.

I use them daily or even several times a day and I’ll show you  how to do it.

Try it and you’ll slowly start feeling your stress dissipate.

These techniques are highly effective but require daily practice.

1.What to Do When You’re Stressed? Meditate Without Stress

Meditation is a fantastic way to control stress. Yet, there are people who even stress out over meditation because they feel like they’re not doing it right. The first step is to relax.

The ability to shut out all thoughts from your mind is EXTREMELY difficult and takes a long time to master.what to do when you're stressed

Most of the advice in meditation books makes it sound easybut it’s not.

Trying to clear your mind of all thoughts is going to be stressful when you discover that thoughts keep creeping in.

All you need to do is meditative breathing where you focus on your breathing.

Sit ( or stand)  in a comfortable position with your neck and back straight. Make sure your head is straight too and you’re in comfortable clothing that doesn’t feel restrictive.

Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply.

I usually count to 8 as I breathe in slowly.  Then I count to 8 again as I breathe out slowing.  Just focusing on my breathing and my counting works wonders to calm me down.

If there is any tension in your body, you will feel it dissipate away as you exhale slowly.

Your focus is entirely on your breathing. Count each inhalation silently and ‘hear’ your breaths.

By focusing on your breaths, other thoughts will be less likely to pop up… and if they do, quietly let them pass and refocus on your breathing.

Do this for about 10 to 15 minutes. You will feel much better after that.

You may not have to ask yourself  “why do I get stressed out so easily?” ever again.

2. What to Do When You’re Stressed Out?  Control Your Thoughts

Since your thoughts are often the things that stress you out, you must proactively control them. The first thing you want to do is monitor your thoughts.

You’ll notice that it’s the same negative and worrying thoughts that keep reappearing.

It could be worries at work or anger towards someone who wronged you or something someone said that is unfair, etc.

Whatever it is, these thoughts are stressing you out.

The cure is to write them down.

Start by writing in caps: WHY DO I GET STRESSED OUT SO EASILY?

Now analyze your thoughts, write them down, and replace them with pleasant thoughts.

If it’s something someone said to you, write down a positive thought about yourself.

Anytime you notice the negative thought rising, immediately think of the positive one you replaced it with.

By doing this repeatedly, you’ll develop the habit of only focusing on the positive.

Do not allow negative people and thoughts to rent free space in your mind. Focus on the positive.

3. What to Do When You’re Stressed Out? Use Imagery

Imagery is another technique to quiet your mind.

You may wish to look at peaceful sceneries and imagine yourself in these places.

It could be a sunset by the sea or under a coconut tree by the beach or even sitting on the top of a cliff looking out at the vast expanse.

There are many wonderful pictures online of peaceful sceneries.

Find one that resonates with you on a subconscious level. You’ll automatically feel drawn to it.

Immerse yourself in the experience and ‘feel’ what it would be like to be there.

This brief mental vacation will work wonders for your soul and spirit. It will be a welcome break from the hustle and bustle of your daily life and help to de-stress you.

4. What to Do When You’re Stressed Out? Relax with Soothing Sounds

Soothing sounds and relaxation music soothes the savage beast.what to do when you're stressed out

One way to quiet your mind is to listen to music that will calm you down.

Avoid rock, rap and other popular music with lyrics.

The goal is to relax and not get hyperactive. You want to listen to music that slows your pulse.

There are many other pieces. You can research these in greater detail online.

5. What to Do When You’re Stressed Out? Connect with Nature

There’s a saying that goes, “The earth has music to those that listen.”

Take a break from your hectic life and get in touch with nature. Go for a hike or a walk through nature.

Look at the plants and appreciate your surroundings. Just admire nature for what it is.

You’ll be amazed at the interesting things you see when you stop thinking about yourself.

The goal is to ‘stop and smell the roses’ instead of distractedly walking while you keep thinking about what worries you.

Cast your thoughts aside and focus on the simplicity of nature.

Give your mind that mental break and know that nature doesn’t rush anything and yet, everything is accomplished.

Applying these 5 tips work wonders for me!  It can do the same for you.

Asking yourself “why do I get stressed out so easily” could soon be a thing of the past!

You’ll be able to quiet your mind because you’ll be taking your focus away from what’s getting you down and replacing it with thoughts and activities that will lift your spirits.

Practice these tips and you’ll feel much better. Quiet your mind and your soul will speak.


Get the 50 BEST Stress Management Activities guide highlighting 50 simple activities SMART women do consistently to get rid of stress and worry? It’s FREE.

  • Finally learn 50 simple things other women do to create balance and peace in their life
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  1. Great advice — I like meditation and working in my garden where I can smell the roses!

  2. When I am feeling stressed out I like to pray which I assume would be similar to meditation. I also love to listen to music, watch a movie or read a book.

  3. Darlene Berkel says:

    @Charlotte, Stress is even WORSE than a killer, its is a silent killer which makes it even more dangerous. Before you even recognize that you are actually suffering from stress, your body already may be adversely affected.

    @Mary, I LOVE gardening therapy too. I plant spinach ( for my anemia issues) and tomatoes. But I love growing and taking care of palm trees too…they are so majestic and gorgeous…PLUS they are great shade during hot Caribbean days.

    @Michelle, praying and reading the bible are definitely good stress reduction strategies too. I like reading the bible early in the morning and meditating on how what I read applies to me or how I can apply what I read in my life to be happier.

  4. All great techniques. Taking a stroll through nature really does work! Enjoy that myself.

  5. Joan Bickley Stommen says:

    Writing things down and deep breathing help me…your posts always come at the perfect time to slow me down. Follow Darlene’s advice! Sharing this right now.

  6. Thank you for so many awesome techniques. I’m definitely going to need to test these out on my own.

  7. Darlene Berkel says:

    @Laurie, Even just sitting outside in nature is a natural stress antidote. My backyard is quickly becoming my haven of rest ( and I have not even added my water fountain as yet)! 🙂

    @Joan, Thanks for the kind words. Glad you enjoy the tips.

    @Katee, you MUST try these techniques for yourself. I promise you the results will be amazing. They are simple, but supremely effective.

  8. Linda McMinn says:

    I do count my breathing and also my steps. If I see I need a break, I walk away and take at least 200 – 500 steps if at all possible.

    It is roughly 500 steps around the building complex I work at. If I count the steps, I usually have let go of the frustration by the time I return to my desk.

    1. Darlene Berkel says:

      Wow…that’s a great idea! Getting outside in nature is a natural stress reliever, and counting steps ( or breathing) focuses your mind on something other than the stressor…the result is FAST stress relief, a calmer mind, and more clarity. Win-win-win all around. Thanks for sharing Linda!

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